Drop: Making Great Decisions - Book Review

Title: Drop: Making Great Decisions; Use Neuroscience to Retrain Your Brain and Make Better Life Choices

Author: Dr. Helen McKibben

Publisher: Feelings Management Press

Publication Date: May 14, 2024

Length: 167 Pages

About the Author
Dr. Helen McKibben's approach to counseling combines the study of the body, the brain, and the connection between them. She created the technique of dropping to the blank screen because she saw two significant, recurring needs in her clients: First, to learn how to manage triggered feelings, and second, to understand why her clients felt the way they did. Dr. McKibben has a doctorate degree in psychology and thirty-five years of clinical work.

New Definition of Self-Esteem
Traditionally, self-esteem has been defined as whether a person likes himself or not. However, Dr. McKibben defines self-esteem as the ability to listen to one's first instinctual thought, feeling, or idea and make independent decisions. High self-esteem allows you to look inward for guidance rather than relying on others to shape your thoughts, feelings, and actions.

This book demonstrates how to use the "Drop to the blank screen" method to pause and respond with how you feel, what you observe, or what you want to do, instead of deferring to others. Developing high self-esteem can transform how you see yourself and how others interact with you. With insights into how self-esteem affects all our decisions, this book offers a comprehensive guide to making better choices in life.

My Thoughts
This book provides a great deal of insight into the importance of self-esteem in our decision-making process. The author provides detailed information on how to "Drop to the blank screen" in the following situations:

• Improve sleep
• Increase self-confidence
• Become a more effective parent
• Enhance athletic performance
• Attract healthier friends and partners
• Heal addictions
• Handle disruptive people

Dropping to the blank screen is more than a simple relaxation or meditation technique. Dr. McKibben teaches us how to respond to people thoughtfully instead of just reacting.  By using memory retrieval and decision-making, the method aims to convert emotions into responses based on high self-esteem and the ability to lead a fulfilling life. 

I have already started using this technique in communication with family members and friends. IT WORKS!!! There are many parts of the book that I will reread and study to use the method most effectively. 

UPDATE: I purchased the audiobook edition of this book on Audible. Dr.McKibben does an excellent job narrating the book and explaining the "Drop" technique. The interviews with clients really come alive in the audiobook. I have been gradually learning this technique and it is making a difference in the way I communicate with others. 

My Rating: 5 Stars Out of 5

FYI - Thank you to Stephanie Barko, the author's publicist, for sending me an Advanced Reading Copy to review.

Nurse Papa Teaches Lessons on Life and Death

 Title: Nurse Papa; 16 Meditations on Parenthood From a Pediatric Oncology Nurse

Author: David Metzger

Publisher: Genz Publishing

Publication Date: August 17, 2021

Length: 175 Pages

About the Author
David Metzger has worked as a pediatric oncology nurse at UCSF Children’s Hospital for twelve years. He is the father of a young son and daughter. The bravery, laughter, perseverance, and the many smiles of the children and their parents who he has worked with have inspired this project.
You can visit the Nurse Papa blog and the Nurse Papa podcast at www.nursepapathebook.com

Life as a Nurse and Papa
David Metzger writes about the lessons that he learned about life and death as a pediatric oncology nurse. He uses his experiences at work to gain insight and understanding of his role as a father to two young children. His life at work and at home intertwine to form a wonderful collection of the author's most cherished memories.

My Thoughts

It is not natural to talk about children and cancer in the same sentence, but Mr. Metzger has dedicated his life to caring for children with cancer. He writes about some of his most memorable patients and the valuable lessons he learned from them. 

I could tell that the author was growing as a person and becoming more compassionate and empathetic as the book progressed. He gives credit to his patients for teaching him to live and die with dignity and grace. He credits his children for teaching him to live in the moment and appreciate all that life has to offer.

There are some very emotional stories in this book because many children with cancer do not survive the disease. The author focuses on the celebration of life instead of the sadness of death. 

This book was well-written and I am glad I read it. I now have a new respect for all the superheroes who wear a nurse's uniform.

MY RATING: 5 STARS OUT OF 5

FYI - I received a free digital copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for a fair review.

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Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth - A Review

Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance

Author: Angela Duckworth

Publisher: Scribner

Publication Date: May 3, 2016

Length: 353 pages




About the Author
Angela Duckworth, PhD, is a 2013 MacArthur Fellow and professor of psychology at the University of Pennsylvania. She is the founder of the Character Lab, a nonprofit whose mission is to advance the science and practice of character development in children. 

“Enthusiasm is common. Endurance is rare.” 
Grit has two components: passion and perseverance.
Passion means having enduring interest in the job you are doing.
Perseverance means being persistent and never giving up.

Are You Gritty?
Dr. Angela Duckworth developed the Grit Scale to measure an individual's grit score. The Grit Scale correctly predicted which cadets at West Point would pass the Beast Barracks, which National Spelling Bee participants would advance to the next rounds and which sales people would be able to retain their jobs. 
I encourage you to test your grit level by completing this short survey.

“as much as talent counts, effort counts twice.” 
Effort helps develop skill. Talent x Effort = Skill
Effort also helps put our skills to good use. Skill x Effort = Achievement.

Interest, Practice, Purpose and Hope
You must be passionate about something that interests you most.
Practice requires that you do things that interest you better than you did yesterday.
It is essential to identify how your work is connected to your own well-being and the well-being of others.
We must be able to get up after a setback. Hope prevails. Hope is an expectation that things will be better tomorrow.

My Thoughts
I was introduced to the work of Angela Duckworth in the Foundations of Positive Psychology Specialization on Coursera. 

This book offers many examples about how effort, perseverance and resilience play important roles in achievement and success. Finding something that you are passionate about is the key. It is natural to want to practice and improve skills that you are passionate about. After many years of effort and practice, you can use your skills for the greater good of society.

In our public schools, the children who have the highest IQ scores are often put in special "gifted and talented" classes. It is good to challenge children who have natural talent, but Dr. Duckworth found that these gifted students sometimes lack the grit that is needed for academic and professional success. Grit is not the only predictor of future success but it is an important part of the equation.

The chapter on gritty parenting gives some specific strategies that can be implemented to encourage the development of grit in children. These same strategies could be used by teachers. Parents should be demanding and supportive of their children. Wise parents are loving, warm, respectful and demanding. Children will emulate their parents, so parents must demonstrate perseverance and passion for their own personal goals. 

Dr. Duckworth believes that you can grow grit from "the inside out" by developing your most passionate interests with practice, purpose and hope. Grit can be grown from "the outside in" by seeking guidance and direction from parents, coaches, teachers, mentors and friends.

There is a reading list at the end of this book that provides more information on the topics that are covered in this book. My goal is to be a "gritty reader" and read all the books listed in this bibliography. 

I found this book fascinating and highly recommend it to anyone who is interested in the subjects of psychology, achievement and success.

My Rating: 5 Stars Out Of 5

FYI - I read a print copy of this book from my public library.

Please share your thoughts in the Comments Section below or tweet me @JanetteFuller.

Book Review: A Letter To Evan by Roy Page

A Letter to Evan: An Average Dad's Journey of Discovery and Discernment Through Divorce

Author: Roy Page and Sarah Horton

Publisher: Lucid Books

Date: April 13, 2013





About the Author
Roy Page is CEO of Third Degree Advertising. His broad range of professional expertise includes brand development, strategic marketing, market analysis, and improving organizational success through effective communication. This is his first book.

Divorce Changes Everything
Roy Page was living a fairytale life. He had been married for almost 20 years to a woman he loved. He was blessed with two wonderful children, a successful business and financial status he never thought he could achieve.

Within two years, his father developed Alzheimer's Disease, his marriage failed and his business began to change and erode.

During this difficult time, Roy wrote his son a series of letters sharing his feelings, concerns and faith. He wrote about the difficult adjustments that everyone in his family had to make. Most importantly, he emphasized his love for his children and his desire to be the best father he could be.

My Thoughts
Men tend to keep their feelings bottled up. They like to be in control and don't want to admit they have problems dealing with life situations. Mr. Page did an excellent job describing his difficulties and explaining how he dealt with them.

The first priority in his life was to be a good father to his children. He shared how his Christian faith helped him move forward. He dealt with the guilt and sadness of being separated from his children and the fear that he would no longer have a close bond with them.

This book will inspire and motivate families in similar situations. Mr. Page has used these bad circumstances to grow and become a better father. He understands that the children's well-being should come before the parent's agendas.

This is truly a story of discovery and discernment. Recommended to all who are dealing with divorce and the problems that come with it.

My Rating: 5 Stars Out Of 5

FYI ~ I received a complimentary paperback copy of this book from B & B Media Group.

Book Review: Life Code by Dr. Phil McGraw

Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World

Author: Dr. Phil McGraw

Publisher: Bird Street Books

Date: November 13, 2012



About the Author
“Dr. Phil” (Phillip C. McGraw, Ph.D.) is the host of America’s number-one daytime talk show and is perhaps the most well-known expert in the field of psychology and human functioning in the world today.

BAITERS - The Bad Guys
Do you give other people the "benefit of the doubt"? Dr. Phil believes you can get in trouble just by being in the wrong place at the wrong time and not listening to your basic instincts. This is why the "benefit of the doubt" is not advised in the new "life code".

Dr. Phil McGraw states that some people "win" just because they play the game of life according to a different set of rules or no rules at all. In the real world,  the cheaters sometimes win, the early bird doesn't always get the worm, and doing unto others as you wish they would do unto you doesn't always get you what you want, need or deserve.

BAITERS (Backstabbers/Abusers/Impostors/Takers/Exploiters/Reckless) are those who exploit, cheat and abuse other people. They win at any cost, especially if it is at the expense of others. Dr. Phil explains the tactics, strategies, techniques and behaviors that BAITERS use to hurt you.

New Rules For Wining in the Real World
The second part of this book explains how to be a winner in life. In order to be successful, you have to play smarter and harder in every part of your life. That means changing what you are doing and how you think. Dr. Phil created a "Sweet 16" list of strategies, mindsets and behaviors that he believes are necessary to change your life for the better.

The final part of the book deals with the importance of knowing how to negotiate what you want and need. Almost everything in your life is based on negotiation.

Dr. Phil writes a special chapter to parents at the end of the book. He believes that people who want to harm your children have more access to them than ever before. Parents must teach their children the new rules for dealing with people in their world.

My Thoughts
The world has drastically changed in the past 50 years. I believe Dr. Phil delivers some sound and sensible advice on how to live in modern times.

I wish I had read a book like this many years ago. I have been exposed to many BAITERS in my life. Unfortunately, I have also used some of the tactics that BAITERS use to further my own agendas and causes.

This book should motivate you to take a good look at how you are living your life. It is never too late to make positive changes in your choices, behaviors and relationships.

I read the digital edition of this book on my Kindle Fire. The formatting is a bit rough around the edges, but the content is really outstanding. I think this is the best book that Dr. Phil has written. It is time to "get real" with a new life code!

My Rating: 5 Stars Out Of 5

FYI ~ I purchased the digital edition of this book with my own funds.

Please share your thoughts in the Comments Section below.

Kindle Books For Kids: Hurry Up and Wait!

Hurry Up and Wait!

Author: Mark Carraway
Illustrator: Julius Tabiolo

Publisher: Fox Valley Media

Date: March 25, 2012





About The Author
Mark R. Carraway is a part-time author and full-time parent of three children.

The Concept Of Waiting
A little girl learns what it means to "wait" as she goes through her day.

The story begins with the young girl waking up. She has waited all night for the rising of the sun. She has to wait to brush her teeth because someone is in the bathroom. She has to wait while her mother packs her lunch for school. There is much, much more waiting at school.

At the end of the day, the little girl waits for her father to read a bedtime story and tuck her into bed. The story has a poignant ending with the father and girl looking at the setting sun and realizing that waiting is sometimes a good thing.

My Thoughts
The concept of "waiting" is difficult for most children to understand. They want something and they want it to happen NOW!

This story helps a child understand that patience and waiting is part of life.  Waiting is necessary for our safety and well-being. Sometimes we have to wait because there are others in front of us. Sometimes we have to wait because we could suffer harm if we act in haste.

The color illustrations are excellent and the formatting for the Kindle Fire is outstanding. I read the book on my Kindle Fire HD and enjoyed the double-page layouts that resemble a real book. This book is a great fit for the landscape orientation on the Kindle Fire. Each page features a full-page illustration with two lines of rhyming text.

I highly recommend this book for pre-school and early elementary age children.

My Rating: 5 Stars Out Of 5

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Book Review: The Healing Art of Pet Parenthood

If there is a special dog in your life, this is a book that you will treasure.

The Healing Art of Pet Parenthood, by Nadine Rosin, is a true story about the human-animal bond, healing cancer holistically, senior canine care, and an empowering new look at the grieving process when a beloved animal passes away.

This memoir tells how Buttons and Nadine lived, loved, laughed and cried together for 19 years. Nadine loved Buttons like an child, and Buttons was one lucky dog!

About The Author

Nadine M. Rosin has been a student of alternative healing for over thirty years and is a certified holistic pets/toxic-free living consultant, pet bereavement facilitator, and public speaker.

A Young Lady And Her Dog
In 1984, Nadine's cousin said, "You're going to be twenty-nine next month, you've got no kids, no husband, and no prospects. How 'bout I get you a dog for your birthday?"  That is how the journey began.

Nadine and her cousin traveled to Waggin' Tails, the only Cockapoo breeder listed in the Yellow pages. When Nadine walked into the kennel, a small mixed-breed female puppy almost leaped out of her cage and burrowed her entire front end up the sleeve of Nadine's coat. This little pup whined and cried the entire time that Nadine was looking at the other dogs. It was obvious that Buttons had chosen her new mother.

Nadine treated Buttons like a real daughter and they did everything together. Buttons seemed to understand Nadine's reluctance to commit to a loving relationship because of an abusive mother and a difficult childhood. Buttons was there to help Nadine when her long-time boyfriend left her broken-hearted and depressed. Buttons was there for Nadine when she was forced to move multiple times in search of employment.

When Buttons was eight years old, she was diagnosed with cancer. The vet gave her six weeks to live without amputation, chemotherapy and radiation. Nadine refused to accept this diagnosis. She launched a holistic regimen that included cleansing Button's body of all toxins and giving her body the nutritional support it needed to heal itself. Within a few months, Buttons was cancer-free and went on to live many more healthy years.

When Buttons was 18 years old, she suffered a stroke. Nadine nursed her with medication from the vet, natural foods and supplements. Nadine was planning a party to celebrate Button's 19th birthday. Buttons died one week before her birthday.
Nadine describes how she prepared herself for the inevitable death of her dear daughter and the emotions that she felt during the final days. She tells how she had the body cremated and later spread the ashes in some of their favorite places. Nadine tenderly tells how she communicated with Button's spirit after her death. She explains how she grieved and how she was able to eventually work through her grief.

My Thoughts
Disclosure: I am the mother of six beloved dog children. I usually don't like to read "sad dog stories", but this book was a celebration of life and living. Nadine and Buttons had a bond that does not end with death...Love never ends.
Nadine has a wonderful writing style that makes the reader feel like he/she is right in the story. There is never a dull moment in this book.
I seldom shed tears while reading a book, but I admit that I broke down when Buttons died. I felt like I had lost one of my own beloved pets. The joyful news is that Button's spirit still lives in Nadine's heart and always will.

Nadine Rosin has a very interesting web site/blog that offers readers more information about holistic pet care.
This is a book that every dog parent should read. It is an inspiring, moving and remarkable piece of work. The book is available in paperback at Amazon and in digital format on the web site.

Disclosure: Nadine Rosin sent me a complimentary digital copy of this book to read and review.

Are you a dog parent? Please share your thoughts in the Comments Section below.

Book Review: The Reversible Skirt

Laura McHale Holland has written a poignant memoir about her childhood. "Reversible Skirt" tells the story of how Laura and her two sisters survived years of emotional and physical abuse after their mother committed suicide. This book is a heart-wrenching account of a family gone terribly wrong. The author is sharing her story with the hope that readers will be reminded of the depth and complexity of children. No matter how things appear to an outside observer, one never knows what the child is really experiencing at home.

About The Author
Laura McHale Holland is a writer, editor and occasional storyteller living in southern Sonoma County, California. She currently heads the editorial department of a trade publication covering the electronic payments industry. She belongs to Redwood Writers and the Storytelling Association of California.

A Sad Story
One evening, Laura and her sisters come home from a neighborhood Halloween party and find their mother hanging from the rafters of the basement ceiling. This is the beginning of a long, tragic saga for the young girls.
The older two sisters are sent off to a Catholic orphanage and little Laura is taken in by her maternal grandparents. In a desperate attempt to keep the family together, their father marries a mean, cruel woman and tells the children that this is their mother.
Things get worse...much worse. When the girls are still in their pre-teen years, their father becomes ill and dies. The wicked stepmother continues to be a "mommy" to the girls so that she can collect social security benefits and not have to get a job.
Laura Holland describes many experiences that took place in her childhood home that were frightening, humiliating and painful. The good news is that the girls survived and went on to live the normal lives that they dreamed about as children.

My Thoughts
Ms. Holland has done an excellent job relating the difficult emotions and thoughts that she experienced as a child. It must have been very difficult to relive the devastating pain that she experienced at the hands of the adults in her early life.
This book was very hard for me to read. I know that I should not stick my head in the sand because there are many children in the world who are suffering the same kind of abuse that Laura endured for so many years. The author wrote the book to make a plea for good people to be alert to bad situations. She also acknowledged that her father was doing what he thought was best for the family at the time. Her stepmother was abandoned as a child and was abused by her caregivers. So...history repeats itself.
I can't say that you will enjoy reading this book, but I can say that you will gain insight and understanding into the plight of abused children.

Disclosure: I received a complimentary digital copy of this book from the book's publicist to read and review.

Please share your thoughts in the Comments Section below.

Fight Childhood Obesity

First lady Michelle Obama has made childhood obesity her signature project with the "Let's Move" campaign.   One-third of American children are either overweight or obese, and with black and Hispanic children, the figure increases to one-half. Weight-related health issues are also on the rise, and Mrs. Obama hopes that if children can develop a healthy lifestyle when they’re young, they can avoid these problems both now and as adults.  

Strong Kids, Healthy Kids: The Revolutionary Program for Increasing Your Child's Fitness in 30 Minutes a Week, by Frederick Hahn, is a very timely addition to the materials available on the subject of childhood obesity.   Mr. Hahn presents guidelines for increasing your child's fitness in 30 minutes a week.  This fitness progam includes a strength training plan for children.  A popular misconception is that children shouldn't engage in strength training because it can stunt their growth or even cause injury.  Mr. Hahn states that current research indicates that strength training is the single most effective exercise method for improving strength and fitness in children.

This book gives detailed information about developing a slow speed strength training program for your child.  It provides guidelines that must be followed to make the program effective and safe. The progam can be used at home with inexpensive weights or in a gym with professional weights. 

The last chapter of the book is "The Strong Kids, Healthy Kids Eating Plan".  This is an excellent guide for healthy eating that can benefit people of all ages.  It is not about counting calories but about eating the right kinds of foods to promote healthy growth.  The author states that 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated...drinking a gallon of cool water over the course of a day will burn as many calories as jogging for a half hour on the treadmill!

I found a tremendous amount of information in this book that I can use to improve my own fitness program.  I am going to pass this book along to my daughter so that she can use it to develop a program for my granddaughter.  The appendix of the book lists many additional resources and the Strong Kids, Healthy Kids web site is great!

The Blackberry Diaries - Book Review

"The BlackBerry Diaries; Adventures In Modern Motherhood", by Kathy Buckworth, is a delightful book about the joys and challenges of juggling modern motherhood and operating a piece of sophisticated technology (a BlackBerry Smartphone).

Kathy Buckworth is one of the Mommy Blogger queens. She shares a year-long account of her experiences and adventures with Seamus (her BlackBerry Smartphone) and her four children. This Canadian mom really tells it like it is in a hilarious manner. She learns that toddlers and technology are not really so different. Kathy's brand new BlackBerry Smartphone is just like having another child!

The first chapter/blog post in this book is dated December 25. Kathy receives her new phone on Christmas day and this is what she says about it;

"Today I'm holding a brand spanking new piece of heaven - my very own BlackBerry smartphone! Oh, how I have longed for one. This is the piece of technology that will transform my life".

Kathy's life is indeed transformed by her beloved Seamus. She tells us how she learns to depend on her BlackBerry phone to keep her informed, entertained and on schedule. As a mother and grandmother, I can tell you that Kathy's parenting advice is blunt, hilarious and right on the mark.

There is just one problem. After reading this book, I am also longing for my very own BlackBerry Smartphone. Kathy, you convinced me that this is just what I need. So, here is my letter to Santa - I am putting a BlackBerry Smartphone on the top of my Christmas list!

Dear Santa,
I just read a remarkable book about a mommy blogger who received a BlackBerry Smartphone for Christmas. I have been very good this year and would love to have a BlackBerry for Christmas. I promise to put this phone to good use - I will even give you a buzz at the North Pole!
Your forever friend,
Janette

Guide To Pirate Parenting: A Review

Attention: Ye Landlubbers!

Would you like to raise your children as pirates?
If so, this is the guide you need.

Pirates have been making headlines in the news. These pirates are professional criminals who prey on unarmed merchant ships in distant seas. This subject is not a joking matter and most people agree that these pirates should be held accountable for their actions.

However, there is plenty of room in the pirate world for this tongue-in-cheek parenting guide. I think we are all ready for a good laugh and this book is just what the doctor ordered. Guide to Pirate Parentingby Tim Bete will have you rolling on the floor in laughter. Cap'n Billy "The Butcher" MacDougall explains why you should raise your kids as pirates and 101 tips on how to do it.

I especially enjoyed the pirate nursery rhymes in this book. Here is one of my favorites;

Cap'n Billy (Old MacDonald)
Cap'n Billy had a ship, E-I-Yo-Ho-Ho
And on his ship he had a crew, E-I-Yo-Ho-Ho
With an "Arrr, Arr" here and an "Arrr, Arrr" there,
Here an "Arrr," there an "Arrr," everywhere an "Arrr, Arr,"
Cap'n Billy had a ship, E-I-Yo-Ho-Ho

There is a very entertaining chapter about how to convert your minivan into a pirate schooner. Cap'n Billy says, "Without a ship, a pirate is just a pathetic landlubber with an eye patch". Cap'n Billy says that every pirate schooner needs an appropriate pirate bumper sticker. Here are some of my favorites;

Caution: I brake for buried treasure
My other ship is an aircraft carrier
My pirate kidnapped your honor student
I killed a bottle of rum just to watch it die

Parenting is a serious responsibility that requires much love, patience and time. Guide to Pirate Parenting encourages parents to lighten-up and have some fun. This book is written for adults but there are many sections that could be shared with a child. Get ready to set sail on a hilarious adventure of laughter and joy!

Click Here to read some hilarious excerpts from this book.

Never before has raising a pirate been so easy!