Drop: Making Great Decisions - Book Review

Title: Drop: Making Great Decisions; Use Neuroscience to Retrain Your Brain and Make Better Life Choices

Author: Dr. Helen McKibben

Publisher: Feelings Management Press

Publication Date: May 14, 2024

Length: 167 Pages

About the Author
Dr. Helen McKibben's approach to counseling combines the study of the body, the brain, and the connection between them. She created the technique of dropping to the blank screen because she saw two significant, recurring needs in her clients: First, to learn how to manage triggered feelings, and second, to understand why her clients felt the way they did. Dr. McKibben has a doctorate degree in psychology and thirty-five years of clinical work.

New Definition of Self-Esteem
Traditionally, self-esteem has been defined as whether a person likes himself or not. However, Dr. McKibben defines self-esteem as the ability to listen to one's first instinctual thought, feeling, or idea and make independent decisions. High self-esteem allows you to look inward for guidance rather than relying on others to shape your thoughts, feelings, and actions.

This book demonstrates how to use the "Drop to the blank screen" method to pause and respond with how you feel, what you observe, or what you want to do, instead of deferring to others. Developing high self-esteem can transform how you see yourself and how others interact with you. With insights into how self-esteem affects all our decisions, this book offers a comprehensive guide to making better choices in life.

My Thoughts
This book provides a great deal of insight into the importance of self-esteem in our decision-making process. The author provides detailed information on how to "Drop to the blank screen" in the following situations:

• Improve sleep
• Increase self-confidence
• Become a more effective parent
• Enhance athletic performance
• Attract healthier friends and partners
• Heal addictions
• Handle disruptive people

Dropping to the blank screen is more than a simple relaxation or meditation technique. Dr. McKibben teaches us how to respond to people thoughtfully instead of just reacting.  By using memory retrieval and decision-making, the method aims to convert emotions into responses based on high self-esteem and the ability to lead a fulfilling life. 

I have already started using this technique in communication with family members and friends. IT WORKS!!! There are many parts of the book that I will reread and study to use the method most effectively. 

UPDATE: I purchased the audiobook edition of this book on Audible. Dr.McKibben does an excellent job narrating the book and explaining the "Drop" technique. The interviews with clients really come alive in the audiobook. I have been gradually learning this technique and it is making a difference in the way I communicate with others. 

My Rating: 5 Stars Out of 5

FYI - Thank you to Stephanie Barko, the author's publicist, for sending me an Advanced Reading Copy to review.

How To Believe In Love Again

It will soon be Valentine's Day and love is in the air. Unfortunately, many people have given up on love and the hope of finding that special person to share their lives with. Laura Lee Carter, the Midlife Crisis Queen, has written a new book about believing in love again....after divorce and well into the midlife years.  How To Believe In Love Again; Opening To Forgiveness, Trust and Your Own Inner Wisdom is based on experiences from the author's professional and personal life.
In 2004, the author found her long-time career as a librarian coming to an end.  She was 49 years old and divorced with no children.  She had a graduate degree in counseling psychology, so she decided to start a professional matchmaking service.  She interviewed hundreds of midle-aged singles who came to her service looking for love.  The problem was, most of these people were putting all their focus on finding the perfect date instead of working on themselves and their attitudes toward love. 
Ms. Carter has written an inspiring book about how to clear your mind of the negativity that you have toward love and being loved.  She asks readers to take a "Love Quiz" in the first chapter to better understand why it is necessary to adjust our thoughts and attitudes toward finding a love partner.  She emphasizes that self-love is the first step towards believing in love again.  We must all find that self-loving place inside before we begin to bring others into our life.  Emotional and spiritual healing is needed before we can believe in love again.
The author gives many practical ways to go about healing. She tells about her own journey to find self-love and self-acceptance.  She expains that journaling, positive affirmations, reading books, watching movies with positive messages about love and listening to music are all ways to increase self-esteem.  The important thing is to spend time alone and really get to know yourself.  The author asked, "Are you the kind of person that you would want to be married to?"
Ms. Carter provides another quiz at the end of the book, "Have Your Beliefs About Love Changed?"  Yes, I think my thoughts about love have changed since reading this book. 
This book is not just for middle-aged singles who have given up on love.  I married my soul mate almost 20 years ago but still found a wealth of useful information in this book.  Yes, even married people have a need to believe in love again. 
There is an awesome list of books in the Bibliography of this book.  I would love to read every book on the list.  The author has made a YouTube video to promote this book. The book is available from Amazon.Com in both paperback and Kindle edition.
I would like to wish everyone a Happy Valentine's Day!  It is never too late to believe in love.

Disclosure:  The author provided me with a free digital copy of this book to read and review.

What Is The Most Important Quality Of A Good Mate?

I recently asked my friends on Twitter the following question;

If you had to name the single most important quality of a good mate, what would it be?

Here are some of the answers I received from my fellow Tweeps;

@GetOutOfDebtGuy Compatible humor/laughter

@sereneworld4us Hm, that would be honesty!

@Bobby61557 Their huge Bank Account Because unfortunately Money plays a huge roll in relationships.

@IveGotUCovered A mate must put God first in his life. To me, I think that's the most important quality. You need to have that for the proper foundation.

@readergirl fidelity - not just fidelity to each other, but to plans, visions, growing in the same direction.

@formatted_dad Someone who listens.

@mattkirschner Good question. Between humor and ability to be laid back, I'd pick the latter.

@andsarah2 Compatible worldview

@ewellburn kindness

I read these replies and then I thought about my own answer. I am very glad that I have a Christian husband. I agree with @IveGotUCovered - "You need to have that for the proper foundation".