Drop: Making Great Decisions - Book Review

Title: Drop: Making Great Decisions; Use Neuroscience to Retrain Your Brain and Make Better Life Choices

Author: Dr. Helen McKibben

Publisher: Feelings Management Press

Publication Date: May 14, 2024

Length: 167 Pages

About the Author
Dr. Helen McKibben's approach to counseling combines the study of the body, the brain, and the connection between them. She created the technique of dropping to the blank screen because she saw two significant, recurring needs in her clients: First, to learn how to manage triggered feelings, and second, to understand why her clients felt the way they did. Dr. McKibben has a doctorate degree in psychology and thirty-five years of clinical work.

New Definition of Self-Esteem
Traditionally, self-esteem has been defined as whether a person likes himself or not. However, Dr. McKibben defines self-esteem as the ability to listen to one's first instinctual thought, feeling, or idea and make independent decisions. High self-esteem allows you to look inward for guidance rather than relying on others to shape your thoughts, feelings, and actions.

This book demonstrates how to use the "Drop to the blank screen" method to pause and respond with how you feel, what you observe, or what you want to do, instead of deferring to others. Developing high self-esteem can transform how you see yourself and how others interact with you. With insights into how self-esteem affects all our decisions, this book offers a comprehensive guide to making better choices in life.

My Thoughts
This book provides a great deal of insight into the importance of self-esteem in our decision-making process. The author provides detailed information on how to "Drop to the blank screen" in the following situations:

• Improve sleep
• Increase self-confidence
• Become a more effective parent
• Enhance athletic performance
• Attract healthier friends and partners
• Heal addictions
• Handle disruptive people

Dropping to the blank screen is more than a simple relaxation or meditation technique. Dr. McKibben teaches us how to respond to people thoughtfully instead of just reacting.  By using memory retrieval and decision-making, the method aims to convert emotions into responses based on high self-esteem and the ability to lead a fulfilling life. 

I have already started using this technique in communication with family members and friends. IT WORKS!!! There are many parts of the book that I will reread and study to use the method most effectively. 

UPDATE: I purchased the audiobook edition of this book on Audible. Dr.McKibben does an excellent job narrating the book and explaining the "Drop" technique. The interviews with clients really come alive in the audiobook. I have been gradually learning this technique and it is making a difference in the way I communicate with others. 

My Rating: 5 Stars Out of 5

FYI - Thank you to Stephanie Barko, the author's publicist, for sending me an Advanced Reading Copy to review.

Book Review: Thrashing About With God by Mandy Steward

Thrashing About with God: Finding Faith on the Other Side of Everything

Author: Mandy Steward

Publisher: David C. Cook

Release Date: October 1, 2013




About The Author
Mandy Steward is a writer, speaker, and blogger in the midst of discovering her authentic Christian self. Her writing has appeared in Brio and Breakaway magazines and on her blog MessyCanvas.com. Her work reflects her life as a wife and mother of four and her passion for art. She lives with her family in Oklahoma City.

Tired of Doing the Christian Thing
Are you tired of pretending?

Are you tired of spitting out right answers for others when your own well has gone dry.

Are you tired of thinking the dreams you long to step into aren't holy enough to warrant action?

Are you tired of religiously giving and sacrificing and having nothing left to feed yourself?

Mandy Steward is a pastor's wife, mother of four young children and a talented artist. This is the story of her search for spiritual fulfillment and peace.

Ms. Steward struggles with the expectations that are placed on Christians by the church and society. She questions the beliefs that she was taught as a child. She copes with the guilt, doubt and fear she feels as she questions her faith and her own identity.

Mandy Steward shares her "messy life" and quest to balance her roles as a Christian, wife, mother and artist.

My Thoughts
Ms. Steward has written a heartfelt, thoughtful account of her spiritual and emotional journey over the past several years. She questions almost everything about her life. She comes to the realization that there is nothing wrong with questioning because it is the way a person grows.

It has been several months since I have read a "Christian book." I must warn you that this is not the average book written for Christian women. This book is brutally honest, unvarnished and "messy".  The author writes from her heart and expresses a very realistic view of her personal and family life.

I was very impressed by the patience and understanding that was shown by her husband and church family. This young woman is truly blessed to have a loving support system that will allow her to honestly examine her life and follow her dreams.

The good news is that questions lead to understanding and change. This book will inspire women to take a good look at their own situations and see if they are living the life "to the full" that Jesus promises in John 10:10.

My Rating: 5 Stars Out Of 5

FYI ~ I received a digital preview copy of this book from NetGalley.

Please share your thoughts in the Comments Section below.

Book Review: A Rebel Chick Mystic's Guide by Lisa Marie Selow

A Rebel Chick Mystic’s Guide: Healing Your Spirit with Positive Rebellion

Author: Lisa Marie Selow

Publisher: Hay House Insights

Date: November 26, 2012



About The Author
Lisa Selow is a professional psychic and spiritual coach who specializes in liberating women to live empowered lives with more courage and authenticity. Lisa has used her own brand of loving humor, combined with a punk-rock edge, in the healing arts since 1998. She lives in the Detroit, Michigan, area with her husband and several electric guitars.

A Positive Kind of Rebellion
Are you a rebel chick?

Would you like to make changes in your life that could help you live your true  calling and purpose?

Ms. Selow defines rebel chicks as "women who desire to carve out their own paths in every aspect of life, including spirituality."

This book encourages women to write their own rebel chick mystic's guide by using exercises with thought-provoking questions, journal prompts and quizzes. These exercises focus on making your own life plan, letting go of your inner good girl, embracing your true self, finding your life purpose and carving out your spiritual path.

This book is a journey.  The author is a guide and coach who will encourage you every step of the way.

My Thoughts
Lisa Marie Selow gives women permission to challenge the status quo and start rocking their life to the beat of a new and different drummer. She encourages women to learn from the lessons they have learned in the School of Hard Knocks and move forward to a fresh and rewarding future.

This book provides many opportunities to write, study and learn from your past experiences and from hopes and dreams for the future. It is really an encouraging course on self-esteem, healing and growth.

"A Rebel Chick Mystic's Guide" is a joy to read and offers life-changing opportunities for all who are willing to devote the time and effort necessary to work the program.  Highly recommended!

My Rating: 5 Stars Out Of 5

FYI ~ I received a complimentary digital copy of this book to read and review from NetGalley.

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Kindle Books For Kids: Twelve Dresses, One Star

A little girl learns that if you want to be a star, you should be happy with who you are. "Twelve Dresses, One Star; A Silly Picture Book About Being Who You Are, by Robert Stanek, is a delightful ebook that will build self-esteem and self-acceptance in young children.



About The Author
Robert Stanek wrote novels for more than ten years before he ever tried to get published. While he wrote those other books, he wrote many, many stories and books for his kids, and he collected them for a few decades, until at his children's urging he set out to get them published for others to enjoy.

Twelve Dresses
A young girl learns that it doesn't matter what you do, what you like or what you wear. The important thing is that you accept yourself and that you "be you, every day, in every way."

The girl is wearing twelve different dresses in the full-page color illustrations. Children will enjoy counting the dresses and comparing the styles and colors.

My Thoughts
I really like the message in this book and I think it is an important concept to teach young children. This book could be used to teach lessons in self-esteem, self-discovery and self-acceptance. Children are never too young to learn that they are special and they are loved just for being themselves.

I viewed this ebook on my Kindle 3 (black and white illustrations) and I was very pleased with the formatting. Each illustration fills the screen and there is one or two lines of text at the bottom of each picture. The illustrations of the young girl are large and the facial expressions are excellent.
I also view the book on my Kindle for PC application (color illustrations). I loved the colorful pictures and it was much easier to distinguish the differences in the twelve dresses in the color pictures.

I think pre-school children will find this ebook fun and entertaining. It is an excellent choice for young girls and boys. I think children will be happy to listen to this story over and over again.

My Rating: 5 Stars Out Of 5

FYI ~ I ordered this book from Amazon.Com when it was offered as a free digital download. Please check the price before ordering.

Please share your thoughts in the Comments Section below.


Kindle Books for Kids: Pigtastic!

Pigtastic!, by Scott Gordon, will entertain and teach children to accept people for who they are. Self-esteem and acceptance are the key themes in this picture book. This ebook is designed for young children between the ages of 3 and 6 years old.




About the Author
Scott Gordon is the author of several children's books, including My Little Pet Dragon, My Crazy Pet Frog, Pigtastic! and A Little Book About You. Currently he is hard at work on his next project, Baby Bee.
All of the proceeds for My Little Pet Dragon, My Crazy Pet Frog and Pigtastic! are donated to the family of Alyssa Mowery. Last October, Alyssa, her sister Rain and Amelia "Mia" Decker were struck by a car while crossing an intersection. Alyssa was put into a coma, and nearly died from her injuries. Two weeks later she awoke and spoke her first words since the accident. Her recovery is a miracle, but she still has a long way to go.

We Are All Pigtastic!
This 25-page picture book features a very cute pink pig. The pig teaches children that we are all different and unique individuals and that we are special and fantastic in our own ways.

The pink pig tells us that the way we look on the outside or the amount of money we haven doesn't matter nearly as much as what is in our hearts.

My Thoughts
I really like the computer-generated illustrations in this book. Children will be drawn to the close-up views of the pink pig. The expressions on his face complement the text and I love the pictures of the pig with angel wings. Each page contains a large illustration and two to eight words of text.

The message in the text is important for children to learn. All people are different but we all have traits and talents that make us special. We should not judge others by how they look or what they have, we should look at their "hearts of gold."

I suggest that parents use this ebook as a read-aloud story for bedtime or quiet time. The illustrations will keep the attention of very young children. Older children will be able to read the text and understand the message that the story is advocating. I think we need to take advantage of every opportunity that we have to teach children how to accept others and value the things that really matter. This book is a winner in the game of life!

Rating: 5 Stars Out Of 5

FYI ~ I ordered this ebook from Amazon.Com when it was offered as a free digital download. Please check the price before ordering.

Please share your thoughts in the Comment Section below.

The Gifts Of Imperfection

I heard Brene Brown speak for the first time last night on a local public television fund-raising program. She spoke about cultivating a "Wholehearted" lifestyle and receiving the gifts of imperfection. I was fascinated by her presentation so I purchased The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are this morning and I read it today.
Dr. Brene Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. She has spent the past ten years studying vulnerability, courage, authenticity, and shame.
Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness.  It means developing the courage, compassion, and connection to think;  No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It's going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn't change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.  

Dr. Brown presents the following ten guideposts in this book;

1. Cultivating Authenticity: Letting Go of What People Think
2. Cultivating Self-Compassion: Letting Go of Perfectionism
3. Cultivating a Resilient spirit: Letting Go of Numbing and Powerlessness
4. Cultivating Gratitude and Joy: Letting Go of Scarcity and Fear of the Dark
5. Cultivating Intuition and Trusting Faith: Letting Go of the Need for Certainty
6. Cultivating Creativity: Letting Go of Comparison
7. Cultivating Play and Rest: Letting Go of Exhaustion as a Status Symbol and Productivity as Self-Worth
8. Cultivating Calm and Stillness: Letting Go of Anxiety as a Lifestyle
9. Cultivating Meaningful Work: Letting Go of Self-Doubt and "Supposed To"
10. Cultivating Laughter, Song, and Dance: Letting Go of Being Cool and "Always in Control"

How I Tried To Be Perfect But Goofed Up Instead
I play the piano at our church on Wednesday and Sunday evenings.  I took piano lessons as a child but gave up my musical interests as I grew older.  A couple of weeks ago, I accidently started the introduction to a song on the wrong notes. I was so messed up that I had to just stop and start over.  This was very unusual for me because I try to live up to the the perfect standards that I set for myself.  I was really beating myself up for making such a big goof.  When I sat down beside a family member he whispered to me, "What was up with that ~ You picked the song, didn't you?" A feeling of shame came over me and I felt like I was a total failure. 
This book taught me new ways to deal with shame, guilt and trying to be perfect. The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are offers many practical ways to live the wholehearted life.  I highly recommend the book. I read it on my Kindle. 

Please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below.

Do It Afraid

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If you have a specific fear, you can often conquer it by doing the thing you fear. In fact, Emerson wrote, "Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain."
I once heard a story about a woman who often had to cross from one piece of property to another at night. The shortest route was through a cemetery. Often, she took a longer route to avoid this trip, which she dreaded. One day, however, she decided to take the short cut. As she was walking through the cemetery, she suddenly heard a voice say, "Don't be afraid. There is nothing here to fear." She didn't know where the voice came from. To this day she doesn't know whether the voice was real or merely the voice of her subconscious mind reassuring her. But suddenly she straightened her shoulders. The fear left her heart. She walked calmly through the dark night. From that time on she was never afraid again!
In order to get rid of a fear, we usually have to expose ourselves over and over again to the situation we fear. Suppose, for instance, you're afraid to get up in public and make a speech. If you get up in public only once or twice, you may never quite conquer your fear.  But if you get up in public at every available opportunity, each time you will lose a little of your fear.  Psychiatrists refer to this process as desensitization.

Humble Or Inferior?

When Socrates was asked why he was considered the wisest man in Greece, he replied, "It is because I know that I know nothing."
In the seventeenth century, Isaac Newton, who discovered the Law of Gravitation and was one of the greatest scientific thinkers, made a very humble statement about his discoveries. He said he felt like a child playing with pretty shells of knowledge by the seashore, while the great undiscovered sea of knowledge stretched alluringly beyond him.

This kind of intellectual humility, however, is different from the kind of inferiority feeling that makes you feel stupid in comparison with your next door neighbor or your immediate superior at the office. Most likely, he is superior merely in position, and possibly in acquired knowledge. What he has done, you can do. Often it is mostly a matter of believing in yourself, and letting that belief help you with anything you attempt.

In the long run, you will be happier and get further if you have real faith in yourself, and are neither too humble nor too proud.

An inferiority complex is like a fungus that absorbs healthy living matter. Don't let it sponge away your great, dynamic personality! It takes a lot of courage to build up the self-confidence that the years have corroded. You have that courage!

The Three Little Pigs

"Everyone can do more than he thinks he can."
Henry Ford

What you do with your life depends almost entirely on your self-concept.  No matter how unreal the premise on which your self-concept is based, it makes real things happen to you. You may say, "I can do this" and "I can't do that," simply because of remarks that others have made about you.  The chances are that you underestimate your own abilities.
Self-concepts might be compared to the houses built by the three little pigs. If a man builds up an image of himself that has no basis in reality, he's building his mental house of straw. A daydream about yourself that you don't follow up to make it come true can be blown down as easily as the house of straw.
Like the second little pig, you can build your mental house out of sticks, and it can also be blown down. If you build your self-concept on casual remarks made by others, you're building it out of sticks.
If you build your mental house out of bricks, who can knock it down? The wolves can come and howl at your door, but they will never knock down one single brick. Those bricks that build your self-concept can be academic or psychological tests showing exactly what you can do, personal experiences, or the encouragement of a loved one.  If you have had personal experience in succeeding at something, no matter how small or big, you can build the house of your self-esteem on what you have done in the past. No matter how many failures you have had, somewhere in the midst of them was something you did well, which others praised.
Build your life on what you have already done successfully.