Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis
Author: J.D. Vance
Publisher: Harper
Publication Date: June 28, 2016
Length: 272 Pages
About the Author
White, Working and Poor in America
J.D.'s grandparents moved north from Kentucky's Appalachia region to Ohio in hopes of escaping the devastating poverty around them. His family struggled to adjust to their new middle-class status. His mother was never able to escape the legacy of abuse, addiction, poverty and trauma that was so characteristic of her childhood years in Appalachia. Mr. Vance lived a very chaotic childhood and was passed around to numerous family members while his mother struggled with drug addiction and moved different men in and out of her home.
J.D. decided to join the Marines when he graduated from high school. When he left the Marines, he used his military education benefits to attend Ohio State University. He eventually graduated from Yale Law School and learned that social mobility involves much more than acquiring money.
“social mobility isn’t just about money and economics, it’s about a lifestyle change. The wealthy and the powerful aren’t just wealthy and powerful; they follow a different set of norms and mores. When you go from working-class to professional-class, almost everything about your old life becomes unfashionable at best or unhealthy at worst.”
My Thoughts
I chose this book because it was on the Bill Gates book list for 2017.
I was extremely touched by the childhood experiences that are described in this book. Mr. Vance is truly a survivor and overcomer. He credits his grandparents, sister and other family members for being there for him when his mother was unable or unwilling to take care of him.
“For kids like me, the part of the brain that deals with stress and conflict is always activated...We are constantly ready to fight or flee, because there is a constant exposure to the bear, whether that bear is an alcoholic dad or an unhinged mom....I see conflict and I run away or prepare for battle.”
The author believes his years in the U.S. Marine Corp gave him the confidence and skills he needed to overcome his chaotic childhood and set realistic goals for the future.
Mr. Vance met his future wife at Yale and she became an excellent mentor and friend during his years in law school. He is now a practicing attorney and appears to have a very bright future indeed. However, sometimes things are not as they seem to outsiders.
“That is the real story of my lift, and that is why I wrote this book. I want people to know what it feels like to nearly give up on yourself and why you might do it. I want people to understand what happens in the lives of the poor and the psychological impact that spiritual and material poverty has on their children. I want people to understand the American Dream as my family and I encountered it. I want people to understand how upward mobility really feels. And I want people to understand something I learned only recently: that for those of us lucky enough to live the American Dream, the demons of the life we left behind continue to chase us.”
This book is informative and inspiring. I am sure that many have walked a similar path as described in this book. The author was able to eloquently express the emotions and vulnerability that he feels as a result of his childhood experiences.
Dr. Phil frequently says, "There's an old saying in Texas: You gotta rise above your raisin'."
This book shows you how.
MY RATING: 5 STARS OUT OF 5
FYI - I borrowed this book from my public library.
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Title: Sober Stick Figure: A Memoir
Author: Amber Tozer
Publisher: Running Press
Publication Date: May 31, 2016
Length: 272 Pages
About The Author
Amber Tozer is a stand-up comedian and comedy writer.
One Day At a Time
This is a memoir of a young woman's struggle with addiction and recovery.
The book is illustrated with simple stick figures drawn by the author.
My Thoughts
This book begins with the following words;
"This is a dark and funny story about alcoholism. I hope it helps anyone who needs it."
I like this book. It informs, enlightens and entertains the reader.
Amber Tozer grew up in a dysfunctional family with an alcoholic father and codependent mother. It is no surprise that she began drinking at a young age.
The problem was, she did not realize that her drinking was a problem until her life was spinning out of control and she was on the verge of despair.
After seven years of binge drinking and destructive relationships, Amber finally admitted that she was an alcoholic and needed help. This decision changed everything.
The stick figure illustrations really cracked me up. Ms. Tozer has the ability to keep the reader laughing even through the most heartbreaking and tragic situations.
I believe this book will be very beneficial to anyone wanting to learn about the devastation that alcohol (or any drug addiction) can have on an individual. This book contains profanity (including some F bombs), so I recommend it for adult readers.
MY RATING: 5 Stars Out Of 5
FYI - I received a free digital copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for a fair review.
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A Search for Purple Cows: A True Story of Hope
Author: Susan Call
Publisher: Guideposts
Date: October 1, 2013
About The Author
Susan Call is a speaker and author who enjoys sharing her insights from
life's valley, offering hope and wisdom to her audiences. She holds an MS in
Marriage and Family Therapy from Eastern Nazarene College and a BA in Computer
Science from Susquehanna University.
From Victim to Victor
As a young wife and mother, Susan Call found herself in a a cycle of abuse and betrayal. Her husband was handsome and charming but he also had a dark side. He was an alcoholic and controlled his wife with verbal and emotional abuse. The last straw came when Susan discovered that her husband was having an affair with their former nanny.
God spoke to Susan's heart as she listened to a Christian radio station. As her faith strengthened, Susan had the courage to take her children and leave her abuser. This is the story of her journey of faith, courage and hope.
My Thoughts
Research shows that the most dangerous time for an abused woman is when she is preparing to leave her abuser. This is a true story about how Susan Call was able to leave a very abusive marriage and start a new life with her children.
Ms. Call gives God the glory for guiding and protecting her during the difficult days of her separation and divorce. She describes how she feared for her life and the lives of her family members because of the threats that her husband made.
It seemed like helpful people always showed up in Susan's life when she needed them the most. She knew this was no coincidence. God protected her and had a good plan for her future.
Susan Call lived with her children as a single parent for several years. She was able to work with her ex-husband so that the children would be able to visit him on a regular schedule. God provided a job that she could work from home and she eventually met her new husband through her work team.
Susan described how she has forgiven her ex-husband and moved forward in her life. Susan is not a victim. She has found victory through her faith in Jesus Christ.
This book will provide hope to other women who find themselves in an abusive relationship. It is a testimony to God's faithfulness and grace. Highly recommended!
My Rating: 5 Stars Out of 5
FYI ~ I received a complimentary print copy of this book from B & B Media Group for an honest review.
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GOD, HOLD ME WHILE I CRY: HOW GOD USED OTHERS TO BLESS ANNA'S LIFE
Author: Don Dilmore
Publisher: Authorhouse
Date: March 17, 2011
About The Author
Don Dilmore has authored seven books. Mr. Dilmore served in the Merchant Marines in World War II. He graduated from Franklin College where he edited the college newspaper. He then spent 37 years in the life insurance and real estate business. After doing lay-preaching for many years, Mr. Dilmore was ordained as a pastor at age 65. He and his wife live in Montgomery, Texas.
Anna's Story
"This book is dedicated to all those who have suffered hardship, hoping that after you read Anna's story, you will know, without a doubt that if we will ask God to come into our lives, anything is possible. His love will overcome any handicap, hardship or disappointment".
Mr. Don Dilmore tells how God used many people to help Anna Lybarger through one desperate situation after another as she was raised in Nazi Germany during World War II.
Anna married an American GI and moved to the United States but discovered that her husband had a serious drinking problem. She took her children and divorced her husband but was soon involved in another abusive relationship.
Anna eventually met and married Herschel Lybarger. He was a good man and provided a stable home for Anna and her children. Anna and Herschel had a son who was brain-damaged and suffered serious mental and physical challenges. Anna trusted God to help them conquer adversity and hardship.
Anna's story is about hope and faith in God. God was always with her. He answered her prayers and brought peace and love into her life.
My Thoughts
I met Mr. Dilmore at a Christmas Market at my church. I enjoyed visiting with him and purchased this book from him. I picked up this book last week and read the entire volume in a couple of days.
I found Anna's story very interesting and inspiring. My family came to the United States from Germany in the early 1900s so I was fascinated with the details about her life in Germany.
I enjoyed reading about a woman who lives in a neighboring town and learning some local history along the way. Mrs. Lybarger's Christian testimony left a deep impression on me.
This story is about faith, hope and love. If you are going through a difficult time, this book will encourage and inspire you. Mr. Dilmore did a good job sharing this story.
My Rating: 4 STARS OUT OF 5
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Native American Rob Cabitto writes a memoir about his life of abuse, molestation, abandonment and addiction. "The Fractured Life of 3743" is a story of redemption and recovery.
The author does an amazing job sharing the emotional and traumatic events of his past. He is now anxious to help others who find themselves dealing with similar situations.
About the Author
Rob Cabitto is a Native American Indian from the Karuk Tribe, and 3743, his tribal
roll number, identifies his Native blood and heritage.
Rob is Founder and CEO of Nine Mile Communications Inc., which provides
installation services for data and telecommunication equipment covering North
America. Rob received his B.S. in Business Marketing from the University of Phoenix
and an M.B.A. from the New York Institute of Technology. Rob also holds many
specialty certificates in Data Networking, Data Storage, Telecommunications and
Network Design.
A Childhood From Hell
Rob Cabitto is a Karuk Indian from northern California. The tribe has a rich history in basket weaving and fishing. Rob had nine biological brothers and sisters. One of Rob's first memories is his alcoholic biological father pouring gasoline on him and trying to set him on fire. Rob was four years old.
Rob's biological mother and father were both alcoholics. He and his siblings were taken from their parents and placed in foster homes at a young age. Rob was legally adopted when he was nine-years-old.
Unfortunately, his adoptive father suffered major health problems and his adoptive mother had a difficult time adjusting to the responsibilities of the family. Rob felt like he was pretty much on his own and soon became hooked on alcohol and drugs. He was also sexually molested during this time by the older sister of a friend.
Over the years, Rob was homeless, spent time in jail and was involved in many dysfunctional relationships with women. He eventually had a desire to get back to his Native American roots and reconnect with his family, tribe and spirit.
Healing and Fresh Starts
Rob always had a love of reading and a desire to get a good education. He sought help in recovery programs, with counselors and with tribal Medicine Men and Native American spiritual guides.
He was able to earn a graduate business degree and start his own technology company. More importantly, he has taken great strides in healing his fractured heart and emotions.
My Thoughts
This is a very compelling true story that includes many heart-wrenching details. It is so sad to learn that children have to live in circumstances like the ones described in this book.
The good news is that Rob Cabbito is a survivor and an over comer. He has pulled himself up out of the pit of addiction and is now living a successful life. He is also determined to help others overcome addiction and dysfunctional living.
I was very interested in this book because I have read very little about the modern day challenges of Native Americans. I found this book very informative about the Native American customs and rituals. Rob found healing when he went back to his roots and took pride in his heritage. This book is not for everyone, but I highly recommend it to anyone who is interested in addiction and recovery issues. This book will open your eyes to the problems in the Native American culture and inspire you to confront your own emotional demons.
This book is available in paperback editions from Amazon and Barnes and Noble. It is also available as a Kindle book from Amazon.
Book Giveaway
I would love to pass my review copy of this book on to one of my readers. If you feel like you could benefit from reading Rob's story, please send me a brief email at fullerjanette@gmail.com. I will read your emails and choose a winner based on your comment. These comments will remain private and will not be posted on this blog. I will ship the book to you at my expense.
FYI ~ I received a free preview paperback copy of "The Fractured Life of 3743" from Rob Cabitto's book publicist. Thank you to Rachel M. Anderson of RMA Publicity!
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